My latest Sympatico/MSN DVD column is up, playing compare-and-contrast with “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” and “Wendy and Lucy”. Because there just aren’t enough people who’ve been told how wonderful “Wendy and Lucy” is.
And seriously: “Benjamin Button” gets a Criterion edition — though one produced and released by Paramount in a similar arrangement to the one Wes Anderson struck with Disney for his Criterion editions — but “Wendy and Lucy” doesn’t rate? What the hell, man?
The AP headline read “Car crashes into eatery in NY movie stunt; 2 hurt.” Innocuous enough. But this was the summary:
NEW YORK – Police say a Ferrari crashed into a restaurant in New York’s Times Square during filming of a Nicolas Cage movie stunt, injuring two pedestrians.
And I knew it was the Sbarro. Just knew it. Because that Sbarro is an attractor.
Everyone who goes to Times Square ends up going into that Sbarro at some point or another. Even when you know better food can be had by walking no more than ten yards in any direction — even straight up or straight down, I’d wager — you will, some day, hit that Sbarro.
Because it’s pizza, and pizza smells amazing, and pizza always seems like a good idea even if you regret it later. And trust me, you will.
For me, it was the fall of 1994. I was in Manhattan for a press junket. I’d checked out of my hotel on 55th with a little time to spare, so I wandered down 7th to do some last-minute CD shopping at Colony. (Fifteen years later, it’s still going strong, though it’s more about memorabilia than music now.) I’d already been there the previous day, so it wasn’t a long visit, and a few minutes later I realized I had a good half-hour or so before I needed to get to LaGuardia, and I was kind of hungry.
Sbarro is just across the road from Colony. You can guess what happened next. The glowing lights, the open door, the lure of “fresh” pizza … in the moment, it doesn’t matter that you know there are better options literally everywhere. It doesn’t matter that eating Sbarro’s pizza is an insult to the multitude of Rays constantly arguing about who among them is the more famous or original. It’s just … there. Waiting. And sooner or later, it seems like a good idea to go inside.
Witnesses say the Ferrari appeared to take a hard right turn and smashed into the Sbarro restaurant at 47th Street and Seventh Avenue.
Of course he did. He was hungry.
Eventually, that Sbarro gets us all.
To no one’s surprise, “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” topped the box-office this weekend, grossing $87 million — nearly six times the intake of the #2 release, “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past”.
Now, it’s no surprise that an icky-looking Matthew McConaughey comedy couldn’t compete with a major studio tentpole — that’s just not the way the world works — but what is intriguing is the fact that “Wolverine” did so well after being available online for a full month in a near-complete version.
Obviously, this means one of two things: Either the piracy issue isn’t as pervasive as the MPAA’s rather hysterical pronouncements would have us believe, or people really do download a movie in order to decide whether they want to see it on the big screen, where the experience will be bigger and louder.
The latter angle is the one the AP is pursuing in this piece, which sends a reporter to ask people leaving a “Wolverine” screening whether they’d already seen the pirated version. (And I’m sure those people were completely honest in their responses.)
But the article leaves out a key factor, which is that “Wolverine” kind of sucks. If piracy was really that much of a threat — or at least as much of a threat as the studio flacks want people to think that it is — then surely word-of-mouth on the film would have been building up to toxic levels in the month it’s been available. Therefore, not too many people were watching it. Certainly not the MILLIONS OF CONTENT THIEVES!!! who we’re told are THREATENING THE VERY EXISTENCE OF THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY!!!, anyway.
Of course, it could just be that people who watch illegally downloaded movies don’t care about the quality of said movies. Does anybody know whether “Meet the Spartans” did particularly well on the torrents?
Well, that took no time at all.
I missed Mamoru Oshii’s “The Sky Crawlers” when it played at TIFF last fall, and there’s still no sign of a theatrical release.
Being eager to see what the mind behind the elegant, game-changing anime “Ghost in the Shell” (and its enjoyable enough sequel, “Innocence”) has come up with next, that’s kind of frustrating.
But wait! “The Sky Crawlers” has just been released on video in Hong Kong, where the Blu-ray region is the same as North America! And the BD has English subtitles! And it’s really quite cheap!
I mean, sure, it’d be great to see this in a theater. But that doesn’t look like it’s going to happen, and a 1080p presentation with lossless DTS-HD audio really is the next best thing.
So, yay for globalism! And yay for alternate-history anime dogfight movies, apparently.
Hot Docs is off and running today, which means it’s time to turn our attention to the world of fiction — well, mostly. It’s a Friday, and movies are opening!
“Act of God“: Fresh from opening Hot Docs, Jennifer Baichwal’s exploration of the metaphysical implications of lightning settles into its Toronto commercial run. I think it’s pretty great, but then I’m closer to the material than most.
“Adrift in Tokyo”: Andrew wasn’t as fond of Satoshi Miki’s droll little study — about a shiftless Japanese student and the loan shark who tries to snap him out of his torpor — as I was, but if you’re in the mood for a small-scale character piece, you could certainly do worse. It isn’t likely to have a long run, so seek it out soon.
“Bart Got a Room”: A nerdy kid tries to build himself the perfect prom, or something. Honestly, all I’ve been able to retain from the trailer is William H. Macy’s hideous perm. And since neither Jason nor Susan found it worthwhile, I think I’ll let it slide.
“Ghosts of Girlfriends Past”: It’s a remake of “A Christmas Carol”. Starring Matthew McConaughey as Scrooge, basically. Only he’s a miser of love, see, having never given himself fully to a romantic partner. And on the eve of his brother’s marriage, he’s visited by three ghosts who show him the true meaning of … oh, Christ, I can’t even type the words. Rad — who tied the knot himself just a couple of weeks ago — takes the bullet.
“Lemon Tree“: Eran Riklis, director of “The Syrian Bride”, takes another look at Israeli border issues with this subtle drama, featuring the wonderful Hiam Abbass as a Palestinian woman caught between bureaucracy and a hard place.
“X-Men Origins: Wolverine“: Hugh Jackman and 20th Century Fox burn off the last ounces of fan goodwill for Bryan Singer’s excellent pair of mutant movies with this utterly unnecessary exploration of the amnesiac furball’s backstory. Hey, it’s totally possible to make vital, ingenious prequels to beloved genre properties — trust me, they’re out there — but this ain’t one of ’em, bub. Review will be online shortly. (UPDATE: There it is!)
It’s finally here: The 2009 Hot Docs festival kicks off tonight; pick up today’s NOW to see what I’ve been doing all month.
Or you can check it out online: Interviews with Jennifer Baichwal and Ron Mann, something like thirty reviews (viewable via the drop box on the right side of this page) and my cover story on “65_RedRoses”, a triumphant medical documentary that’s just about the best thing going at the festival.
Actually, if you’re able to pick up the physical paper, that’s the best way to appreciate the whole package; I’m really happy with the way everything came together, and I’m especially proud of that cover story. Check it out, won’t you? And then throw a few bucks at CF research, if you’re able.
Hey, remember that other forgotten ’80s star who had a comeback last year? Yeah, the guy in the picture. His movie’s on DVD now, too, and the subject of my latest Sympatico/MSN DVD column.
I have to say, I’m really tempted to pick up that new Blu-ray edition of “Street Fighter” now. I just wish Universal would make it a little easier to pick up 16:9 transfers of “Timecop” and “Sudden Death” — the only way to get those is to buy them in separate DVD four-packs, which means you’ll end up with at least one copy of “The Quest” no matter what you do.
Sure, you get “Hard Target”, but you probably already have that one …
The Onion A.V. Club posts this bit of inexplicable movie news: Ehren Kruger, screenwriter of “Arlington Road”, “Reindeer Games” and the impending “Transformers” sequel, is working on a remake of David Cronenberg’s “Videodrome”.
According to the announcement in Variety:
“The new picture will modernize the concept, infuse it with the possibilities of nano-technology and blow it up into a large-scale sci-fi action thriller.”
Doesn’t Cronenberg have the right to refuse this sort of thing? Could he at least try to short-circuit the project by demanding they cast Ashton Kutcher as Max Renn?
Damn, but I want to smack someone right now.
Who would have thought a “Fatal Attraction” knockoff would conquer the box-office this weekend? Certainly not Sony, which didn’t even screen “Obsessed” for critics or do much in the way of promoting it … but there it is at the top of the heap with a $28.5 million gross.
How little does Sony think of the film? They let somebody explain its success thusly:
“There’s something about wanting to see Beyonce kick butt. She’s taking on one wacked chick, played very well by Ali Larter,” said Rory Bruer, head of distribution for Sony. “Let’s face it, everyone loves Beyonce, and to see her in this role is a treat.”
Of course, by that logic, “Cadillac Records” would have been huge if they’d included a sequence where Etta James throws a piano at Leonard Chess’ wife. I smell remake!
And speaking of Beyonce, her “Dreamgirls” co-star Eddie Murphy has made the top of a chart, too — he’s the number-one example in The Onion A.V. Club’s new inventory, “23 People Who Immediately Followed Academy Award Wins or Nominations with Terrible Films“.
I do so love those guys.
Bea Arthur has died. A fixture of the stage and screen, yes. A formidable talk-show presence, certainly. Also, kind of a low-talker.
But as Adam Mathew (see comments below) pointed out last night, her true value may lie in her ability to inspire art — or, more specifically, the art of Brandon Bird.
Click the image above. It’s how I’ll always remember her.