Who would have thought a “Fatal Attraction” knockoff would conquer the box-office this weekend? Certainly not Sony, which didn’t even screen “Obsessed” for critics or do much in the way of promoting it … but there it is at the top of the heap with a $28.5 million gross.

How little does Sony think of the film? They let somebody explain its success thusly:

“There’s something about wanting to see Beyonce kick butt. She’s taking on one wacked chick, played very well by Ali Larter,” said Rory Bruer, head of distribution for Sony. “Let’s face it, everyone loves Beyonce, and to see her in this role is a treat.”

Of course, by that logic, “Cadillac Records” would have been huge if they’d included a sequence where Etta James throws a piano at Leonard Chess’ wife. I smell remake!

And speaking of Beyonce, her “Dreamgirls” co-star Eddie Murphy has made the top of a chart, too — he’s the number-one example in The Onion A.V. Club’s new inventory, “23 People Who Immediately Followed Academy Award Wins or Nominations with Terrible Films“.

I do so love those guys.