The Onion A.V. Club posts this bit of inexplicable movie news: Ehren Kruger, screenwriter of “Arlington Road”, “Reindeer Games” and the impending “Transformers” sequel, is working on a remake of David Cronenberg’s “Videodrome”.
According to the announcement in Variety:
“The new picture will modernize the concept, infuse it with the possibilities of nano-technology and blow it up into a large-scale sci-fi action thriller.”
Doesn’t Cronenberg have the right to refuse this sort of thing? Could he at least try to short-circuit the project by demanding they cast Ashton Kutcher as Max Renn?
Damn, but I want to smack someone right now.
Welcome to the new flesh. It sorta sucks, no?
Being an Ehren (Arlington Road, Reindeer Games, Scream 3, Ring Duh) Kruger script, there will be a point near the end of the final act where someone will walk out from the shadows and say something along the lines of:
‘Okay, here’s who I am, here’s who you are, here’s what I’ve been scheming for the last 90 minutes, here’s why, and here’s what I’m going to do to you, and here’s why you can’t win. Now GO!’
After which the film will be released from Pause Mode, and the dumbest twist imaginable with a convoluted second and third finale will unravel, after which you will feel cheated and demand a refund from the theatre.
– MRH