Short post this morning; stuff needs doing before the TIFF ’09 opening press conference this morning. (Yes, it’s back, and may God help us all.)

So I’ll just point you at a couple of new Sympatico/MSN galleries cooked up in advance of the Katherine Heigl-Gerard Butler comedy “The Ugly Truth” — ye requisite Battle of the Sexes rundown, and ye reliable list of Manly Movie Men. Do enjoy!

So “Bruno” made $30.4 million over the weekend, ensuring that Sacha Baron Cohen will return to punk Americans once again — though you have to wonder what he does for this encore.

Maybe something where he investigates the West’s long-buried heightist tendencies by disappearing into the role of a five-foot-six person? That presents a suitable challenge.

Another Friday, another flood of new arrivals on the big screen … and one of the summer’s best movies threatens to be clobbered by one of its worst.

“Bruno“: Look, I loved “Borat” as much as the next guy. (Maybe even more so, actually, once I realized I was sort of understanding the Hebrew dialogue Baron Cohen was substituting for Kazakh.) And I understand the value of revealing the noxious homophobia of rural America. But this series of increasingly immature provocations doesn’t produce anything of comic or satirical value — though there will be plenty of people who think it does.

“Il Divo“: Paolo Sorrentino’s head-spinning biopic of Italian political player Guilio Andreotti took the Jury Prize at Cannes last year, presumably because they figured they had to give Sorrentino something for all the effort. I would have been extra-perverse and given the Best Actor prize to Toni Servillo instead — his gnome-like stillness is the only thing that breaks through the movie’s bludgeoning style.

“The Hurt Locker“: Kathryn Bigelow’s exceptional movie about an American bomb-disposal squad trying to survive Iraq is being buried by all the “Bruno” hype. Don’t let it slip past you; it’s her best film since “Near Dark”, and it’s definitely worth seeing on a big screen. Also, if this doesn’t land Jeremy Renner five major features by the time September rolls around, he needs a new agent.

“I Love You, Beth Cooper“: Have you ever seen a filmmaker completely misjudge the tone and intention of his source material? No? Well, don’t start with Chris Columbus’ boneheaded attempt to turn Larry Doyle’s brilliant deconstruction of John Hughes movie logic back into a crowd-pleasing John Hughes movie. I’m not sure anyone could have made this work on-screen, but Columbus just fails so profoundly …

“Valentino: The Last Emperor”: Circumstances prevented me from seeing Matt Tyrnauer’s ride-along with revered fashion designer Valentino Garavani … and it looks like I dodged a bullet, based on Rad and Adam‘s reactions. Lucky me!

So last night’s Retro Reels screening was kind of surreal; I’ve known Erica Ehm for years — our dogs used to hang out together — and it was amazing to see a crowd responding to her in a specifically 1980s  context. It was also amazing to see the diversity of that crowd, which ranged from Twitter-savvy teens to people in their fifties, answering the musical question “Who comes to see a free screening of a fairly forgettable John Hughes production?”

After we did our little introduction thing, Harbourfront’s nice social-media person sat us down for a video podcast that’s supposed to go up later today. I’ll post the link when it’s available, but I must caution you: It’s in HD, and I was already a little moist from the humidity. I may look like a ghoul.

Speaking of Harbourfront stuff, I take a look at another of their free film series in today’s NOW — specifically, the film component of Beats, Breaks & Culture, which will be screening “Urgh! A Music War” and “24 Hour Party People” on Saturday and Sunday, respectively, at the Studio Theatre. Here’s the piece.

Also worth a look, internet-wise: The Onion AV Club’s latest inventory, gathering 17 films and television shows which take the mickey out of critics. Because we have too much mickey, I guess.

As I sink back into the rhythms of life in Toronto — screening, writing, screening, writing — I find myself doing what I always do, trolling the interwebs for things to read when I should be working. And there’s some great stuff here.

At The House Next Door, contributor and actual research scientist (!) Simon Hsu offers an excellent list of Scientists on Film for the site’s 5 of the Day feature, collecting five films that depict scientists and their laboratory environments in an honest and/or accurate manner. The highlight for me was his inclusion of Douglas Trumbull’s “Brainstorm” — a deeply, deeply flawed film that still manages to be quite thrilling when depicting the research, development and marketing of the high-tech device that drives the film’s plot. (Which isn’t necessarily what Trumbull was going for, but still.)

And then there’s the fine discovery that Mike D’Angelo will be contributing to the Onion AV Club beyond his excellent Cannes reports — starting, I believe, with this intriguing meditation on what he thinks Michael Mann might have been trying to do with the notion of celebrity in “Public Enemies”, and whether or not Mann achieves his goals. It’s a really good read, even if you believe — as I do — that “Public Enemies” is both Mann’s least and worst film.

Right. Off to the first screening of the day, then … and then, once that’s done, I can allow myself to read the comments thread.

The hard numbers won’t be in until later today, but right now it appears that the third “Ice Age” and the second “Transformers” are tied for first place at the North American box office, each of them pulling in $42.5 million over the weekend.

When the final tallies are reported, my money’s on “Ice Age” to come out on top — it was the much stronger performer on Wednesday and Thursday (its five-day gross is $67.5 million to the “Revenge of the Fallen” take of $65 million), and its 92-minute running time means considerably more screenings per day than the 149-minute expanse of the “Transformers” sequel.

Meanwhile, “Public Enemies” made $41 million in its first five days — Michael Mann’s best opening ever, according to the Variety piece, and “a testament to Depp’s appeal, proving he can open a pic even when not dressed as a pirate.”

Poor Christian Bale. He’s already over, isn’t he?

Something to entertain you while I’m running around looking for sticky buns, Chex Mix and out-of-print DVDs: My latest Sympatico/MSN movie gallery, which uses Johnny Depp’s John Dillinger in “Public Enemies” as a springboard to look at other stars who’ve gone gangster.

Historical figures only, I’m afraid, which means no Corleones and no Father Hoods. But don’t think I wasn’t tempted.

I’m not sure how it happened, but for some reason I had it fixed in my head that “Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs” opened today instead of two days ago. I dunno, I’m all messed up with times and dates this week. Sorry about that.

“Empty Nest“: Daniel Burman is becoming the Argentine Woody Allen — but the late-70s, early-80s version, where the thematic repetition and calculated flights of fancy were balanced by engaging dialogue and the occasional flash of human insight, so that’s actually okay.

“Finn on the Fly”: You know that thing were a company dumps a middling title into theaters as a kind of promotional run for the DVD? Yeah, this is one of those; in fact, a review copy of the DVD arrived in my mailbox just one day after E1 announced the theatrical release. Susan took it, and was not terribly impressed.

“Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs“: Those lovable CG mammals wander into an even more prehistoric world than their own, mostly because kids love dinosaurs and Fox really needs to keep the franchise alive. Variety reports strong opening-day numbers from Wednesday (again, oops), which means it’ll crush “Public Enemies” with ease … and maybe even top the “Transformers” sequel’s second weekend.

“Moon“: Lonely lunar worker Sam Rockwell goes crazy — or does he? — on an isolated base in the not-too-distant future. Why he doesn’t just build a couple of wisecracking robot friends, we’ll never know. That’s totally what I would do, if I knew the first thing about robotics. Hell, I’d probably try anyway.

And that sums up the week. Have you seen “The Girlfriend Experience”, “Summer Hours” or “Tokyo Sonata” yet? Because those are really good.