What, the Oscars are just two days away and the studios are still releasing more movies into the market? Doesn’t that seem counter-intuitive to anyone else? Aren’t we all supposed to be staying home or watching “Avatar” for the third time? Sheesh. Anyway, let’s break it down:

“Alice in Wonderland“: Tim Burton’s take on the Lewis Carroll classic is a movie that only Tim Burton could have made. That is not, in itself, a compliment..

“At Home By Myself … with You“: Kris Booth’s comedy about a Toronto shut-in is a little on the wobbly side, tone-wise, but a terrific performance from Kristin Booth (no relation, apparently) as the shut-in in question will keep you watching.

“Brooklyn’s Finest“: Antoine Fuqua goes all retro with this brooding cop drama. Until he gets restless, and decides what the movie really needs is a whole lot of gunfire. Don Cheadle’s pretty good, though, and it’s briefly fun to see Ethan Hawke as the worst-case-scenario version of his “Training Day” character.

“The Ghost Writer“: Roman Polanski reminds us of his considerable talent with this polished — if not entirely convincing — adaptation of the Robert Harris novel about a ghost writer (Ewan McGregor) hired to finish the autobiography of a disgraced British prime minister (Pierce Brosnan). Is it heresy to suggest you wait for the unrated DVD, which will presumably feature the undubbed audio?

“Helen”: Ashley Judd fights depression in the new film from Sandra Nettelbeck, who seems a world away from her endearing “Mostly Martha”. Susan liked it, but apparently she’s in the minority.

“A Prophet“: Jacques Audiard’s tremendous study of a young man (Tahar Rahim) staring down a six-year stretch in a French prison is so much more than a jailhouse movie — but you really don’t want to know any more than that. Just go see it, whether or not it wins the foreign-language prize on Sunday night.

“Zooey and Adam”: Sean Garity’s drama casts Daria Puttaert and Tom Keenan as a couple trying to cope with the aftermath of an assault and an unexpected pregnancy. Susan thought it worked really well; Kieran, not so much. I’ll wait for the DVD, thanks.

And thus begins a day that has me zipping around town doing all sorts of things, including a stop at CTV News Channel for the requisite Oscar chat. If you’re near a television set around 1pm, flip it to Rogers Cable 62 to see what I look like without makeup. It’s not for the squeamish.

And don’t forget about tomorrow morning’s appearance on CBC Radio One — “Go!” gets going at 10:30am EST. I may not have time to put a post together before heading down to the studio, so set your alarms now.

The latest issue of NOW offers some entertaining diversions, including my interview with Don Cheadle, co-star of “Brooklyn’s Finest” and the impending “Iron Man 2”, a look at the World of Comedy Film Festival and Benjamin Boles’ cover story on the band Zeus, who — as it happens — will be the musical guests on CBC Radio One’s “Go!” this weekend.

Why am I mentioning a band you’ve (probably) never heard of? Why, because I too will be appearing on “Go!”, for a very special episode, “The Worst Movie Ever!“. I’ll be appearing with Adam Nayman and Jennie Punter on the program, which airs Saturday morning at 10:30am on Radio One.
Want to be part of the live studio audience? Tickets are still available here.

Or you can stay indoors and listen from the comfort of your nice, warm bed. Not that I’m trying to sway you one way or the other.

I’ve banged out a Spring Movie Preview for MSN, tracking the March-April release slate; if you’re trying to plan your moviegoing for the coming weeks, you might want to take a look.

But this is interesting: The Nicolas Cage medieval thriller “Season of the Witch” has disappeared from the schedule just weeks before it was slated to open.

What’s the deal, Lionsgate (in the U.S.) and Alliance (in Canada)? After “The Wicker Man”, “National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets” and “Knowing”, a Nicolas Cage vehicle has a long way to go before it can be deemed unreleasable.

In more encouragng news, Conan O’Brien is tweeting. And his first post is funnier than anything Jay Leno’s done in, like, a decade.

That ginger fella’s going to come through this just fine, you’ll see.

Martin Scorsese’s “Shutter Island” held on to the top spot at the box office over the weekend, pulling in another $22.2 million for a cumulative gross of $75.1 million. But close behind it were “Cop Out” and “The Crazies”, with $18.6 and $16.5 million, respectively.

I’m finding myself more and more troubled by the success of “Shutter Island” — not just because it’s Scorsese’s weakest picture since “Gangs of New York”, but also because it’s likely to enable Leonardo DiCaprio in his quest to use that ridiculous Bahstan accent in more movies.

And then there’s this: Craig Simpson finally identified the weird tugging I experienced at the back of my brain while watching “Shutter Island” — turns out we’d both seen it before, in a different but much more thematically successful configuration.

Spoilers abound, but if you’ve seen the film, you’ll want to check this out.

With “Cop Out” invading the megaplex, I had no choice but to dedicate this week’s MSN Movies gallery celebrates the specific magic that is the American buddy-cop movie.

Really, I’m just doing my part to keep fine folks like Billy Rosewood and Pep Streebeck off the ash-heap of history.

Yeah, you heard me. Pep F*cking Streebeck. That’s why “Rush Hour” didn’t make the list, incidentally; everything Chris Tucker tries to do in those movies, he owes to Mr. Tom Hanks and his delightful affectations.

It’s Friday. There’s movies afoot. I’d say something pithy, but today’s a big writing day and I’m already behind, so let’s just get going, shall we?

“Cop Out“: Hey, remember the ’80s? Kevin Smith’s first movie as a director for hire certainly hopes that you do, since nostalgia is really all it has going for it. Well, that and Tracy Morgan’s line reading of “It’s not for me, it’s for the table.” My review should be up soon. UPDATE: Finally!

“The Crazies“: George A. Romero’s understandably obscure 1973 satire gets a shot of adrenaline in Breck Eisner’s proficient genre update, which improves upon its source in virtually every way. And why isn’t Timothy Olyphant a bigger star? Dude’s awesome!

“L’Enfer d’Henri-Georges Clouzot“: Serge Bromberg and Ruxandra Medrea Annonier resurrect Clouzot’s abandoned 1964 psychothriller in this enthralling documentary, which would be worth seeing if it consisted entirely of Romy Schneider B-roll. But it’s so much more.

“Last Train Home”: When you hear the term “migrant worker”, you probably think of the laborers that fuel America’s produce industry. In China, the term means something else — people who leave their villages for work in industrial factories in cities across the country. Lixin Fan’s powerful documentary follows two of them as they head back to visit the children they left behind. Susan gives props.

“The Maid”: Sebastian Silva’s drama about a servant (Catalina Saavedra) desperate to maintain her position in her employers’ household has been rolling through the festival circuit for a while now, but I still haven’t managed to catch up to it. (Stupid conflicting schedules.) Jason and Susan liked it well enough.

“The Messenger“: There have been plenty of movies made about the human cost of war, but Oren Moverman’s one is different: It’s a piercing drama about two soldiers tasked with informing families their loved one won’t be coming home. Ben Foster, Woody Harrelson and Samantha Morton give thoroughly lived-in performances, and Moverman announces himself as a director of considerable skill and intelligence. See this, would you?

“The White Stripes Under Great White Northern Lights“: Jack and Meg rock their way across Canada in this striking concert movie, which feels a little more intimate than the usual musical follow-along. Sure, you’ll be able to pick it up on DVD in a couple of weeks, but wouldn’t you rather see it with a crowd?

My latest MSN DVD column is up, featuring “The Informant!” and “The House of the Devil” — two very contemporary films that cloak themselves in the trappings of the 1970s and the 1980s, respectively.

And the new issue of NOW is on the stands, where you’ll find my interview with Breck Eisner, who’s just remade “The Crazies”. Sometime later today they’ll post my Q&A with Oren Moverman, director of “The Messenger”, and I’ll throw up a link when they do. (UPDATE: Thrown!)

But now I have a lot of work ahead of me, so if it’s okay with you guys I’ll just post this and get back to it …

My latest MSN DVD column still hasn’t gone up, so your distraction today is the AV Club’s newest “I Watched This on Purpose” — in which Tasha Robinson tackles Rodrigo Garcia’s utterly forgettable “Passengers”, the plane-crash-survivors drama with Anne Hathaway and Patrick Wilson.

Spoilers abound, obviously, since “Passengers” is a movie with a Really Big Twist, and the nature and execution of that twist is central to the movie’s failure. (Funny, there’s another movie out there right now with the same problem.)

But then, “Passengers” is the kind of movie that arrives pre-spoiled, in that it’s entirely awful. So jump right in!

I’m off to a screening of another 3D movie this morning — which is perhaps not the best time to click over to io9 and discover an article called “Science Proves 3-D Movies Hurt Your Brain“.

Click through for the details, including a video that demonstrates exactly what the process does to your poor synapses.

As someone who didn’t even get the hint of a headache during “Avatar”, I’m apparently one of the lucky ones … but of course, I only saw it in Real3D. The poor bastards who see it in IMAX never had a chance.