This was bound to happen eventually: In honor of Mother’s Day, my latest Sympatico/MSN movie gallery offers a look at some fairly extreme examples of motherhood.

I mean, anyone can pick you up and kiss your boo-boo better. It takes someone very special to do it while surrounded by ravenous xenomorphs, is all I’m saying.

With the onset of summer-blockbuster season comes a certain easing of the release schedule. All the studios are moving out of one another’s way, the better to make sure there’s room enough for each great big tentpole to spend a week at the top of the charts. (It also keeps any one title from being humiliated with a third- or fourth-place opening. Smooth.)

Anyway, fewer big movies will mean more small ones soon enough, as various indies jockey to unload last year’s festival acquisitions and suchlike. But right now, today, it’s blissfully quiet, with only four films opening.

“Adoration“: The ossification of Atom Egoyan’s filmmaking style continues unabated with this muzzy thumb-sucker. It’s slightly more bearable than “Where the Truth Lies”, if only because it’s so completely, cluelessly ridiculous in a couple of scenes. (“Have you had lunch?” Oh, we’ve all had lunch, Atom — we just don’t order off the crazy menu.)

“Lymelife”: I’ve managed to miss every opportunity to see this movie, for one reason or another, but Susan loved it — enough that she lobbied to put Alec Baldwin on the cover this week. So that’s an endorsement.

“Star Trek“: A week after seeing J.J. Abrams’ exhilarating, affectionate reboot of the beloved SF chestnut, I’m ready — and maybe even eager — to see it again. You don’t get a lot of that when you’re me, is my point.

“Tyson“: In which James Toback puts Mike Tyson in front of a camcorder and lets him speak, unchallenged, for an hour and a half. The result is a fascinating, uncomfortable and entirely mesmerizing experience; if Tyson is in any way interesting to you, you’re going to want to check this out.

Onward and upward …

You can tell the summer movie season is upon us when suddenly there’s only room for one big movie at a time. This week, it’s J.J. Abrams’ reboot of “Star Trek”, which opens tonight and is kind of awesome.

Here’s my Q&A with Bruce Greenwood, who plays Captain Pike in the reboot. As tempted as I was to get him to answer questions with “yes” or “no”, I thought it would make more sense to let him use complete sentences.

Oh, and tonight’s big Hot Docs event, as far as I’m concerned, is the premiere of “65_RedRoses”, which was the subject of last week’s cover story and remains the best film I’ve seen at the festival. Tickets are still available for Sunday night’s repeat screening at the Bloor; you can order them with the “Buy Tickets” button at the bottom of this page.

You know, if you’re interested.

To no one’s surprise, “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” topped the box-office this weekend, grossing $87 million — nearly six times the intake of the #2 release, “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past”.

Now, it’s no surprise that an icky-looking Matthew McConaughey comedy couldn’t compete with a major studio tentpole — that’s just not the way the world works — but what is intriguing is the fact that “Wolverine” did so well after being available online for a full month in a near-complete version.

Obviously, this means one of two things: Either the piracy issue isn’t as pervasive as the MPAA’s rather hysterical pronouncements would have us believe, or people really do download a movie in order to decide whether they want to see it on the big screen, where the experience will be bigger and louder.

The latter angle is the one the AP is pursuing in this piece, which sends a reporter to ask people leaving a “Wolverine” screening whether they’d already seen the pirated version. (And I’m sure those people were completely honest in their responses.)

But the article leaves out a key factor, which is that “Wolverine” kind of sucks. If piracy was really that much of a threat — or at least as much of a threat as the studio flacks want people to think that it is — then surely word-of-mouth on the film would have been building up to toxic levels in the month it’s been available. Therefore, not too many people were watching it. Certainly not the MILLIONS OF CONTENT THIEVES!!! who we’re told are THREATENING THE VERY EXISTENCE OF THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY!!!, anyway.

Of course, it could just be that people who watch illegally downloaded movies don’t care about the quality of said movies. Does anybody know whether “Meet the Spartans” did particularly well on the torrents?

Hot Docs is off and running today, which means it’s time to turn our attention to the world of fiction — well, mostly. It’s a Friday, and movies are opening!

“Act of God“: Fresh from opening Hot Docs, Jennifer Baichwal’s exploration of the metaphysical implications of lightning settles into its Toronto commercial run. I think it’s pretty great, but then I’m closer to the material than most.

“Adrift in Tokyo”: Andrew wasn’t as fond of Satoshi Miki’s droll little study — about a shiftless Japanese student and the loan shark who tries to snap him out of his torpor — as I was, but if you’re in the mood for a small-scale character piece, you could certainly do worse. It isn’t likely to have a long run, so seek it out soon.

“Bart Got a Room”: A nerdy kid tries to build himself the perfect prom, or something. Honestly, all I’ve been able to retain from the trailer is William H. Macy’s hideous perm. And since neither Jason nor Susan found it worthwhile, I think I’ll let it slide.

“Ghosts of Girlfriends Past”: It’s a remake of “A Christmas Carol”. Starring Matthew McConaughey as Scrooge, basically. Only he’s a miser of love, see, having never given himself fully to a romantic partner. And on the eve of his brother’s marriage, he’s visited by three ghosts who show him the true meaning of … oh, Christ, I can’t even type the words. Rad — who tied the knot himself just a couple of weeks ago — takes the bullet.

“Lemon Tree“: Eran Riklis, director of “The Syrian Bride”, takes another look at Israeli border issues with this subtle drama, featuring the wonderful Hiam Abbass as a Palestinian woman caught between bureaucracy and a hard place.

“X-Men Origins: Wolverine“: Hugh Jackman and 20th Century Fox burn off the last ounces of fan goodwill for Bryan Singer’s excellent pair of mutant movies with this utterly unnecessary exploration of the amnesiac furball’s backstory. Hey, it’s totally possible to make vital, ingenious prequels to beloved genre properties — trust me, they’re out there — but this ain’t one of ’em, bub. Review will be online shortly. (UPDATE: There it is!)

It’s finally here: The 2009 Hot Docs festival kicks off tonight; pick up today’s NOW to see what I’ve been doing all month.

Or you can check it out online: Interviews with Jennifer Baichwal and Ron Mann, something like thirty reviews (viewable via the drop box on the right side of this page) and my cover story on “65_RedRoses”, a triumphant medical documentary that’s just about the best thing going at the festival.

Actually, if you’re able to pick up the physical paper, that’s the best way to appreciate the whole package; I’m really happy with the way everything came together, and I’m especially proud of that cover story. Check it out, won’t you? And then throw a few bucks at CF research, if you’re able.

The Onion A.V. Club posts this bit of inexplicable movie news: Ehren Kruger, screenwriter of “Arlington Road”, “Reindeer Games” and the impending “Transformers” sequel, is working on a remake of David Cronenberg’s “Videodrome”.

According to the announcement in Variety:

“The new picture will modernize the concept, infuse it with the possibilities of nano-technology and blow it up into a large-scale sci-fi action thriller.”

Doesn’t Cronenberg have the right to refuse this sort of thing? Could he at least try to short-circuit the project by demanding they cast Ashton Kutcher as Max Renn?

Damn, but I want to smack someone right now.

Who would have thought a “Fatal Attraction” knockoff would conquer the box-office this weekend? Certainly not Sony, which didn’t even screen “Obsessed” for critics or do much in the way of promoting it … but there it is at the top of the heap with a $28.5 million gross.

How little does Sony think of the film? They let somebody explain its success thusly:

“There’s something about wanting to see Beyonce kick butt. She’s taking on one wacked chick, played very well by Ali Larter,” said Rory Bruer, head of distribution for Sony. “Let’s face it, everyone loves Beyonce, and to see her in this role is a treat.”

Of course, by that logic, “Cadillac Records” would have been huge if they’d included a sequence where Etta James throws a piano at Leonard Chess’ wife. I smell remake!

And speaking of Beyonce, her “Dreamgirls” co-star Eddie Murphy has made the top of a chart, too — he’s the number-one example in The Onion A.V. Club’s new inventory, “23 People Who Immediately Followed Academy Award Wins or Nominations with Terrible Films“.

I do so love those guys.

I have to say, the marathon of spring festivals feels a lot like TIFF — there are fewer interviews, and I’m not seeing as many films theatrically, but that sense of a massive wall of obligations about to come crashing down on me at any moment? I’m so there.

So before I plunge back into the world of Hot Docs, here’s a rundown of this week’s theatrical releases …

“Earth”: Okay, it opened on Wednesday, but new is new. And more high-def nature footage from the “Planet Earth” people is always welcome … though it seems Disney felt it necessary to tone down that whole “red in tooth and claw” thing. Jason and Deirdre explain.

“Fighting”: Channing Tatum toughs up as a street-smart guy who, well, fights. A lot. Directed by Dito Monteil, who got great work from Tatum in “A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints” a few years back … but Andrew finds this project doesn’t offer him the same opportunities.

“Obsessed”: A whole bunch of TV faces — Idris Elba, Ali Larter, Jerry O’Connell — play out El Attraction Fatalico for the texting generation, or something. Apparently Beyonce plays the angry wife, but I swear I thought that was someone else in the trailer.

“Only“: Appropriately enough, Ingrid Veninger and Simon Reynolds’ delicate tale of one afternoon in the life of two isolated kids is playing just four days at the Royal Cinema, on an indie double-bill with “Production Office” (which Rad reviews here); if you have the chance, you should really catch it. It’s a fine, fine film.

“The Soloist“: Jamie Foxx gurns it up big-time as a schizophrenic virtuoso in Joe Wright’s big, button-pushing, fence-swinger at a movie — a film for people who thought “Shine” and “A Beautiful Mind” didn’t go big enough in elaborating upon the connection between genius and madness. Robert Downey, Jr. keeps his dignity, but doesn’t he always?

“Three Monkeys“: Opinions on Nuri Bilge Ceylan’s grim Turkish drama were split at Cannes, but I thought it was quite good — sure, it’s darker than his previous films, but that just means he’s making an effort not to make the same movie over and over again. And I think the darkness works for this particular film.

Right, that’s the blog done — now, back to the Wall of Reality!