By the time you read this, “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1” will have grossed half a billion dollars globally. I am sad about this.

Of course, my feelings about the “Twilight” movies are entirely irrelevant, as evidenced by the new film’s position atop the box-office charts for a second week. Its $42 million take this weekend — part of the $62.3 million haul over the five-day window of American Thanksgiving — kept it safely in the top spot. “The Muppets” placed a distant second with a respectable $29.5 million/$42 million; “Happy Feet Two“, “Arthur Christmas” and “Hugo” were well behind in third, fourth and fifth place.

The silver lining here is that four of the top five films are worthy and interesting family movies, and hopefully they’ll pick up speed over the week and one of them will displace the abstience vampire porn next weekend. That would be nice.

In the meantime, here’s a thought for American families: Stop seeing “Twilight” movies. This is why the terrorists hate us!*

* On second thought, the success of the “Twilight” movies is probably not why the terrorists hate us. I suspect religious fundamentalists would be totally on board with what Stephenie Meyer is all about. You may now shudder quietly to yourselves.

All of the week’s major releases opened on Wednesday, so today is an oasis of calm on the film schedule. Just three pictures arriving in theatres today.  It’s bliss.

“Elite Squad: The Enemy Within”:  Having made his bones with the powerful documentary “Bus 174”, Brazilian filmmaker Jose Padilha has wound up cranking out thrillers that are just as politically loaded. Here, he continues the police-corruption saga begun in 2007’s “Elite Squad”, expanding the scope of the tale as the cops declare war on drug dealers. I get the feeling Rad feels a little bad for liking it.

“Klitschko“:  Documentaries about boxing can be exhilarating, thrilling, vivid examples of cinema — seriously, have you seen “When We Were Kings” lately? Sometimes, though, they’re just rote and formulaic, like Sebastian Dehnhardt’s dull look at the lives of two brothers from Ukraine who became world heavyweight champions.

“My Week with Marilyn”: Reviews of the latest Weinstein Company prestige picture have not been kind, but everyone (including Rad) loves Michelle Williams as Marilyn Monroe. Honestly, though, I’m more keen to see Kenneth Branagh play Laurence Olivier — a part he’s been gearing up for since 1989 or so.

Oh, and Amnesty International’s Reel Awareness Film Festival runs this weekend at the NFB, about which more here, if you’re curious. Me, I’m off to yet another year-end screening, because that is all I know.

So, a couple of weeks ago I attended a press conference with Kermit the Frog. My audio recording of that turned out to be nearly useless, but Andrew J. Parker had better luck, and you can read the transcript of the Q&A over at Dork Shelf. (I asked the question about Rizzo and Pepe getting shafted on screen time.)

The press conference, obviously, was to promote “The Muppets”, and co-writer/producer/star Jason Segel was also in town; our conversation — with high-quality audio clips and everything — appears in this week’s NOW. He’s a lovely guy, and he’s made a lovely movie. Couldn’t be happier for him, really.

And no, this wasn’t the first time I’d interviewed Kermit. I did a phoner with him — yes, a telephone interview — about eighteen years ago, when Disney first released “The Muppet Christmas Carol” on video. Strangely enough, I was much more skeptical about the experience then. This time around, well, the frog popped up and the disbelief got suspended … and it was the same for everyone else in the room.

In the end, that’s what Segel’s movie is about. You can’t help wanting to believe the Muppets are real, because if they aren’t, the world is a colder and harsher place. Our species is better off for having invented them.

Tomorrow is American Thanksgiving, which signals the official start of the holiday movie season. But unofficially, it all kicks off today, with the first wave of seasonal releases. My reviews won’t be available until later tonight, when the new issue of NOW hits the street, but at least you have my capsules to guide you.

“Arthur Christmas“: Aardman Animation’s second CG feature (after the underrated “Flushed Away” is a delightful, inventive goof on Santa movies, featuring a top-notch voice cast, a sleek visual sensibility and charming character design. Go go go.

“Hugo“: Martin Scorsese takes a children’s book and turns it into a rhapsody to early cinema; I’m not entirely sure the fusion of the two things works, but I’m not entirely sure it doesn’t, either. And, like “Avatar”, it’s an excellent argument for 3D as a storytelling tool rather than a gimmick.

“The Muppets“: Jason Segel resurrects the original, celebrational sensibility behind Jim Henson’s felt hordes in a movie that — for all its many flaws — feels exactly like a grown-up Muppet movie ought to feel. And yes, Chris Cooper raps.

There, the reviews are up. You know what you want to see.

This is indeed a disturbing universe: “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1” grossed a staggering $139.5 million — the biggest opening in months, and the second-biggest opening for the franchise since “New Moon” bowed to $142.8 million two years ago.

And the operative word is grossed, given the film’s repugnant abstinence agenda and creepy, possibly unconscious domestic-violence allegory. Worse, the uptick in interest from chapter three to chapter four probably means that “Breaking Dawn, Part 2″ is going to open even bigger next year.

Worse news? “Happy Feet Two“, a sequel that actually makes the whole weird-and-allegorical thing work, was ignored in the stampede, slouching into second place with a relatively piddly $22 million. Poor George Miller; it’s “Babe: Pig in the City” all over again.

I should probably just retire.

I’m introducing that free screening of Edgar Wright’s “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World” tonight at 9:30 pm at the Toronto Underground Cinema.

It’s a great movie, and it’s a lot of fun with an enthusiastic crowd — which this screening is likely to attract. You should come!