So Michael Bay’s Trans4merz enjoyed a $301.3 million worldwide opening, one-third of which came from its North American run.

Just take a moment and think about that, would you? An incomprehensible, grinding, endless sequel that everyone fucking agrees is the worst instalment of its franchise grossed one hundred million dollars per day this weekend.

By contrast, Edge of Tomorrow — a militaristic sci-fi actioner about humans and aliens that is radically different from Trans4merz by virtue of actually being intelligent and entertaining — came in seventh with $5.2 million for a North American total of $84.1 million. Edge of Tomorrow has been playing for a month.  Trans4merz has been playing for three days.

I don’t want to live on this planet any more.

The monstrosity that is Transformers: Age of Extinction basically blots out the sun, release-wise, for this weekend, with only a few smaller films willing to go up against Paramount’s megalithic abomination as counter-programming. Yes, you should be depressed by this.

The Case Against 8: Susan really liked Ben Cotner and Ryan White’s look at the push to thwart California’s anti-gay Prop, 8 at Hot Docs; now you can catch up to it at the Bloor. So that worked out.

The Internet’s Own Boy: Glenn really liked Brian Koppelman’s study of online activist Aaron Swartz’ life, persecution and suicide at the tender age of 26 at Hot Docs, too.

Me and You: After a lackluster premiere at TIFF 2012, Bernardo Bertolucci’s drama about an isolated teenager (Jacopo Olmo Antinori) wanders into commercial release. Susan thinks it’s okay.

The Pin: I liked Naomi Jaye’s tense, tightly focused drama about two teens in hiding during WWII a little more than Susan did — which is handy, because I’ll be conducting a Q&A with Jaye after the 6:10 pm show tonight (Friday) at the Canada Square. Perhaps you’d like to check it out?

They Came Together: David Wain’s anti-rom-com isn’t his strongest film, but there are moments in it that made me laugh harder and longer than anything else this year. C’mon, go.

Transformers: Age of Extinction: Screw this movie. It thinks you’re an asshole.

And that’s everything! Happy long weekend, everybody!

In this week’s NOW, I get to talk to David Wain, a filmmaker, actor and comedy genius whom I’ve admired for years, about his new movie They Came Together.

If you’re not familiar with Wain’s world, you can catch up with this handy Top Five of his prior accomplishments, or just watch a bunch of State sketches on YouTube. Either way, you’re good.

I also teased the new Harbourfront Free Flicks season, which gets underway next Wednesday night and will feature me introducing movies with a series of far more qualified guests. Come on down! I mean, sure, you’ll have to walk through a couple of blocks of construction chaos because the damn streetcars still aren’t running, but that just means you’ll appreciate the serenity of the lake all the more when you finally see it.

I don’t think anyone was surprised that Think Like a Man Too did well over the weekend. Kevin Hart is pretty hot these days, so a $30 million opening was within expectations — not quite as impressive as the original’s $33.6 million start in 2012, but close enough that we’ll probably see Think Like a Man As Well in 2016.

The real shocker? 22 Jump Street was right on Steve Harvey’s heels, earning $29 million — and How to Train Your Dragon 2 was pretty close behind that, with $25.3 million — while poor, dreadful Jersey Boys limped into fourth place with $13.5 million, demonstrating that even jukebox-musical audiences have some self-respect, in the end.

Last week we got two major-studio sequels that were far better than they had any right to be.

This week, we pay for it with a string of big-ticket busts — though the indie fare is strong. So that’s something.

I’ll Follow You Down: Richie Mehta’s unorthodox time-travel movie isn’t entirely satisfying as a genre work, but there’s something grimly compelling in its heart.

Jersey Boys: Forty-seven years ago, Clint Eastwood co-starred in Paint Your Wagon … and it appears he’s been waiting to get back at musicals ever since. So, well played on the whole destroying-a-Broadway-smash thing, I guess.

The Life and Crimes of Doris Payne: Not all criminals go down in a blaze of glory. Some of them, like master jewel thief Payne, live to a ripe old age and get to be the subjects of documentaries. Andy explains.

No Tears for the Dead: Rad is mixed on Lee Jeong-Beom’s hitman thriller, which is kinda how I felt about his last one, The Man from Nowhere. But if you’re in the mood for Korean shoot-em-ups …

Obvious Child: Jenny Slate’s knockout performance is getting the bulk of the attention, but the rest of Gillian Robespierre’s indie comedy is also pretty damn great. Go see it, would you? Thanks.

The Rover: Animal Kingdom‘s David Michod takes another run at an Australian family study — only this one takes place a decade after an unspecified global collapse, with Guy Pearce going the full Mel Gibson as a relentless pursuer of them what’s wronged him and Robert Pattinson, for some reason, as a simpleton who gets in his way. Glenn was unmoved.

Think Like a Man Too: Everyone seems pretty disappointed in Tom Story’s sequel to his 2012 ensemble sleeper, and somehow I am not surprised. (I had to see Jersey Boys instead, which was half an hour longer, so I am still pretty sure my suffering was far more profound.) UPDATE: Rad positively loathed it.

Uvanga: I was not a big fan of Before Tomorrow, so it’s nice to see Marie-Helene Cousineau and Madeline Ivalu make an actual movie this time around instead of repeating themselves. And yes, that’s Marianne Farley from La Peau Blanche in there.

In summary, go see Obvious Child. Oh, and if you haven’t seen 22 Jump Street and/or How to Train Your Dragon 2, go see those. And maybe catch Rope outdoors on Sunday evening. There, you’re sorted.

Another issue of NOW, another wave of interviews. This is what I do, people.

This week I talk to Jenny Slate and Gillian Robespierre, respectively the breakout star and writer-director of Obvious Child, which is very good, and to Richie Mehta, writer-director of I’ll Follow You Down, which is decent enough until the last few minutes, darn it. (The Robespierre Q&A, a web exclusive, should be up later this afternoon.)

I also take a look at the outdoor screening series TIFF has mounted for WorldPride weekend, as a satellite to its Bent Lens program. Really, who wouldn’t want to see Hitchcock’s Rope under the stars?

Oh, and tied to the release of Obvious Child, here’s a Top 5 listicle on the post-SNL careers of five recent graduates of the show. It comes with a different photo of Jenny Slate! Neat, right?

22 Jump Street outpaced How to Train Your Dragon 2 by a considerable margin this weekend, with the live-action comedy sequel grossing $60 million to the CG fantasy sequel’s $50 million.

Both numbers are impressive, mind you, but I’m pretty sure anyone would have bet on them being reversed. An R-rated comedy sequel coming out on top of the follow-up to a massive family hit with its own TV spinoff — and with 3D ticket prices, too — is pretty amazing.

Let’s hear it for the underdogs, I guess. Speaking of which: Edge of Tomorrow made more in its second weekend than The Fault in Our Stars, which stomped it flat last weekend. (The former placed fourth with $16.2 million; the latter fifth with $15.7 million. Maleficent took third with $19 million.) Does this mean Doug Liman’s alien actioner will turn out to be a summer sleeper, chugging along in the middle of the box-office charts for a couple of months and gradually finding the audience it missed out on last week?

… well, no, probably not. But wouldn’t it be great if it did?

It’s a typical summer weekend, with the majors rolling out high-expectation sequels while the minors throw out a few festival pickups as counter-programming. Seriously, take a look:

All Cheerleaders Die: I keep hoping Lucky McKee will deliver another movie worthy of May, but Glenn‘s review suggests I should probably stop hoping for that.

Burt’s Buzz: All I can say is I hope Burt’s Bees paid Jody Shapiro a great deal of money to make this toadying corporate video disguised as a documentary.

The Double: Richard Ayoade’s delightfully weird spin on Dostoevsky features a pair of great Jesse Eisenberg performances and a great deal of wit. Garth Marenghi would be proud.

How to Train Your Dragon 2: Hiccup and Toothless reunite for a second adventure that is remarkably satisfying even though it’s also entirely unnecessary. Basically I’ll watch those pixels do anything.

Silent Retreat: The first half of Tricia Lee’s teen-horror thriller is evocative and creepy; the second half is not. That’s a fair summation.

22 Jump Street: There is something utterly wonderful about watching Channing Tatum struggle to think. Bless Phil Lord and Chris Miller for knowing this, and for building a movie around it.

WolfCop: The makers of this Canadian wannabe-cult classic neglected to add the subtitle “The Cop That Wolfs People”. Rad says that’s not the only missed opportunity.

There you go! If that’s not enough for you, check out yesterday’s post for the various film festivals happening in town this week. If you can get a ticket to the NXNE screening of Boyhood on Saturday night, you should probably do that.

If you’re in Ontario, go vote. Then come back and read this. It’s okay, we’ll wait.

Are you back? Hello! This week’s NOW arrives under a bit of a cloud, as we’re still mourning our food columnist Steven Davey, who died suddenly earlier this week. He was 64, which is perhaps the biggest shock of all; I didn’t even think he was in his fifties. Susan’s memorial is worth a read, as Steven’s final piece … which is a review of a place just down the street from me. I will have to go.

But on to happier things. Richard Ayoade’s The Double opens in Toronto today, and it’s very good, and we had a fun interview at TIFF which leads off this week’s film section. I’m also covering no fewer than four film festivals — TIFF’s massive Bent Lens program for WorldPride, NXNE Film, the Italian Contemporary Film Festival and the Toronto Animation Arts Festival International.

Why so many film festivals, you ask? Because I am incapable of saying “no, thank you”. I should really work on that.