I’ll post the usual Friday movie roundup later on. We’re a little busy right now.
I May Be Some Time
Traffic is a little more complicated over here, you see.
That Awful Grinding Noise is Harvey Weinstein’s Steenbeck
Because the world keeps turning, even when you’re on the other side of it: Here’s my latest Sympatico/MSN DVD column, exploring the ruination of “Killshot”.
Not that it would ever have been great, but it certainly could have been better than it is.
Off to Buxton this morning, with stops planned at wool shops, cafes and at least one Tesco. Because that’s just what they do here.
The Seaside, Surrounded by Sheep
They have the interwebs everywhere now!
I’m posting this from a lovely bed and breakfast in Aberdovey, on the Welsh coast. It’s a tiny little inlet populated by border collies and terriers, with the odd chip shop thrown in for variety.
To get here from the South, we had to drive through Sandford, in Gloucestershire — which some of you may recall as the setting for “Hot Fuzz”. Sadly, Edgar Wright actually shot the film in his home town of Wells, so we had no luck location-spotting.
When we get back to London later this week, I have every intention of scouring Crouch End for the Winchester Tavern. And when I find it, I will reward myself with a Cornetto.
Yep. I’m that guy now.
This is England
After Cannes wrapped up last year, Kate and I spent a few days in London decompressing and getting some other stuff done; this year, we’d planned to come home via her old stomping grounds in the north of England. Cannes didn’t happen, but we figured we might as well burn off our Aeroplan points before Air Canada decides to change the redemption rates … so here we are.
Posting may be sporadic over the next few days, is what I’m saying. I don’t know how much internet they can spare out on the Welsh coast.
In other news, the “Night at the Museum” sequel beat the “Terminator” sequel over the weekend, and Michael Haneke’s latest exercise in icy European cruelty took the Palme d’Or — no surprise, really, what with Haneke’s muse Isabelle Huppert chairing the jury.
I kid, I kid. If there was a Blu-ray disc of “Time of the Wolf” available over here, I’d have bought it already …
Future Shocked
“One possible future … I don’t know tech stuff!”
I have this weird feeling that we’ve done time-travel stuff before — or maybe it was killer robots, I don’t even know anymore — but with “Terminator Salvation” opening this week, it seemed logical to do a Sympatico/MSN movie gallery about unpleasant alternate futures we’ve seen on film.
(Adam, “Reign of Fire” was for you.)
When Products Clash
After a string of unchallenged tentpoles, this week brings us a good old-fashioned throwdown, as two studio sequels go up against each other for your box-office dollar. (Did I manage to keep all my metaphors separate? I do believe I did.) Of course, there’s plenty of counterprogramming to be had, too, as you’ll see below …
“The Brothers Bloom”: Mark Ruffalo and Adrien Brody set out to fleece Rachel Weisz in Rian Johnson’s con-artist picture, which has been getting some pretty mixed reviews since its TIFF bow last fall. Adam sort of liked it; Susan, not so much.
“Dance Flick”: The Wayans family, having accidentally ceded the scattershot-parody franchise to a couple of their “Scary Movie” writers a few years back, regroups for an assault on teen dance movies. So, you know, good for them.
“Little Ashes”: In which “Twilight” star Robert Pattinson threatens to alienate millions of screaming teenage girls by playing Salvador Dali and kissing a dude. But he’s apparently using a different facial expression, so that might throw them off. Susan liked it, anyway.
“The Limits of Control“: Jim Jarmusch’s intriguing, frustrating art-house thriller works a lot better if you imagine that Issach de Bankole’s character is a Terminator. I’m just saying.
“Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian“: Second verse, same as the first — only now Ben Stiller is frantically running away from reanimated historical personages in Washington rather than New York. Amy Adams shows up and goofs around most appealingly as a slang-slinging Amelia Earhart. But the whole thing’s awfully pat.
“Rudo y Cursi“: “Y Tu Mama Tambien” co-stars Diego Luna and Gael Garcia Bernal reunite as squabbling pals in Carlos Cuaron’s wretched sports picture, which teaches us that (a) professional soccer in Mexico is fairly corrupt, and (b) humble banana-plantation workers are not necessarily equipped to handle meteoric success. There, I just saved you twelve bucks.
“Serbis“: Brillante Mendoza is currently scandalizing the Croisette with a grim tale of remorseless murder called “Kinatay”; this film, which he brought to Cannes last year, is much lighter in tone. It has a goat!
“Terminator Salvation“: Okay, technically it opened yesterday, and that’ll probably give McG’s empty action sequel the edge over Stiller and his pals in the final box-office tally.
And if you’re in the Toronto area, Tony Stone’s fascinating “Severed Ways: The Norse Discovery of America” is screening this evening in the Over the Top festival’s film component, which I covered in yesterday’s paper. About half of the audience will love it; the other half will probably try to beat them up when they applaud. Seriously, you should check it out. But bring a helmet.
End of Line
Look, I’m not a dope. I know “Terminator Salvation” is going to make all the money in the world this weekend; Warner’s marketed the crap out of it, and judging from the response of my preview audience the other night, it delivers all the crashing, banging and exploding that people think they want from these huge action tentpoles. So, yeah, it’ll be huge.
But is it any good? Is it even necessary? Check out the review linked above, and you’ll see.
(Spoiler alerts: No, and no.)
Give the People What They Want
My latest Sympatico/MSN DVD column is up, addressing the … qualities … of such recent popular entertainments as “Paul Blart, Mall Cop” and the “Underworld” franchise.
Also, you know what’s kind of fun? “My Bloody Valentine 3D”. No, really!
Be Your Own Router
I try to leave the truly geeky tech stuff to the fine folks at BoingBoing and Engadget — you may have noticed them on the blogroll to your right — but this is something I haven’t yet seen on either of them.
Got a laptop and one of them new-fangled WiFi-enabled cell phones? Sick of wandering around looking for an open wireless connection? Well, dig this: A new program called Walking Hot Spot turns your phone into a WiFi router, letting your laptop access its 3G data capability. You can control the level of security, and allow as many as four other users to access the connection.
Pretty clever, huh? (Particularly if said phone has an unlimited data package.) I imagine it’ll suck your battery dry fairly quickly, but presumably you’d just plug your phone into your laptop to charge.
The downside: It’s currently only available for phones running Windows Mobile 6.0 and up, or Symbian 60, whatever that is. I’m sure the iPhone store has a similar app somewhere on its vast virtual shelves … and if not, it’s just a matter of time.