Remember when NBC tried to market a summer of re-runs to its audience with this magical slogan?

If you haven’t seen it, it’s new to you!

Well, it turns out that philosophy can apply to just about anything. Like, say, werewolves. And if you were a twelve-year-old girl and your only exposure to the myth of the shape-shifter was a certain series of squee-tastic novels, then you might take it upon yourself to defend your precious concept from those vile Hollywood parasites who might dare to infringe upon it.

Which brings us to this marvelous Defamer piece, reprinting an angry open letter to Universal that somehow ended up posted at Latino Review. Seems someone knows a ripoff when she smells it:

This movie was a complete waste and I feel that it offends ALL Twilight Fans around the world, that including myself. For one, it was a COMPLETE remakingof the Wolf Pack from the Twilight Saga: New Moon. It gives the werewolves a bad name and makes them look like some deformed mutation of a rabid dog.

Seriously, read the whole thing. The staff of the Onion must be kicking themselves today.