Nicolas Cage, Magnificent Bastard

The top? I was over that years agoI’ve said this before, but this is the truly fascinating thing about Nicolas Cage: He knows exactly what he is doing. He wants you to laugh; he wants to find out how far he can go. And therefore, there is no other movie you need to see this weekend besides “Bad Lieutenant”. I’ll mention the other stuff, but seriously? Cage. Herzog. Batshit insanity at its finest. Seriously, look at the photo. LOOK AT IT.

The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans“: You want the crazy? Nicolas Cage will bring you the crazy. He will go to the crazy store, and he will buy the biggest bag of crazy that they have, and he will personally deliver it to you on a crazy platter with crazy bread. AND AWESOME SAUCE, because you might feel like dipping.

“The Blind Side”: Sandra Bullock, Tim McGraw, foster parents, football phenom, lessons learned, no Nicolas Cage, not “Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans”.

“Mary and Max”: Voices of Toni Collette and Philip Seymour Hoffman, claymation, Oscar-winning creators of “Harvie Krumpet”, no Nicolas Cage, not “Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans”.

New Moon“: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, sparkle vampires, shirtless Native American werewolves, abstinence, Volvos, no Nicolas Cage, not “Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans”. (That said, Michael Sheen’s interpretation of a vampire lord as a Pythonesque upper-class twit will eventually be worth the price of a DVD rental. Review up shortly.) UPDATE: Squee! It’s live!

“Planet 51”: CG animation, bright colors, voices of Dwayne Johnson and Justin Long, clever reference to “Alien”, no Nicolas Cage, not “Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans”.

“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”: Misery, abuse, illiteracy, Mariah Carey, Lenny Kravitz, uplift, redemption, Oprah seal of approval, TIFF People’s Choice Award, no Nicolas Cage, not “Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans”.

So what are you doing this weekend? You’re seeing “Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans”, right? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

4 thoughts on “Nicolas Cage, Magnificent Bastard”

  1. Norm, this is one of your BEST blog entries to date! Ahem, not that the others weren’t good, but they weren’t The Bad Lieutenant.

    Forced to agree, this week is pure shit, except for the awesomeness that is Nicolas Cage. Just the right amount of batshit crazy…

  2. That was a TIFF highlight, especially the Q&A with Herzog. He’s basically a mythic, beloved Trickster figure at this point in his career.

    Fave recent story about Cage and the games he plays. Rose Byrne was on Late Night with Conan. She told a story about being on the Australian press tour for ‘Knowing’ and being nervous about it because she was back home. Cage told her not to worry, he was going to go out and try not to say “I” during the interview.

  3. I should point out that not every taste bud can truly savour the ultimate crazy. Batshit crazy requires a more refined palette, and a sense of daring.

    Freshly basked crazy with kosher salt and *no preservatives* does guarantee a level of crazy that tastes simply awesome with fresh butter. (Just visualize it: a roll of crazy bread, and a wedge of butter actually shimmering pure crazy as it melts around the edges and is absorbed into the crazy bread’s fibrous density – a perfect marriage of crazy that’s sure to fill everyone’s tummy with crazy goodness.)

    Now, grilled crazy – the lean variety that’s also been aged to crazy perfection – is also superb because as the crazy meat is singed by the batshit-hot flames, the crazy juices are sealed in a container of meaty insanity. Give it maybe 10-15 minutes above ludicrously hot brickets, and you’ve got meaty perfection, although it needs that damn Italian crazy sauce. Without that goat-nuts tomato and pesto sauce, you just can’t have batshit madness with a completely nutsoidal tanginess.

    Any bag of crazy will provide a kick, but to really, really get that Cagean craziness, you have to take a leap of faith and believe in the power of pure batshit.

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