Say what you will about the state of cinema, there’s something weirdly adorable about Lars Von Trier’s latest bid for attention opening against a Muppet movie.

Divergent: Shailene Woodley trains to be a dystopian parkour cop in the latest Hunger Games wannabe. Seriously, that’s pretty much it.

Down River: Helen Shaver and Gabrielle Miller co-star in Vancouver actor-turned-director Ben Ratner’s new drama, which Susan feels is strongest when Ratner stops worrying about subtext and just lets his cast do their thing.

The Lunchbox: Ritesh Batra’s modest Indian dramedy was a word-of-mouth hit at TIFF last year. Rad suggests it has the stones to make it in commercial release.

Muppets Most Wanted: They’re back! Again! For, like, the seventh or eighth time! But who can hold it against them? Not me, even though it’s pretty clear Jason Segel was responsible for most, if not all, of the last movie’s soul.

Nymph()maniac : Charlotte Gainsbourg recounts a lifetime of lust and misery in Lars Von Trier’s four-hour spin on the Moll Flanders fallen-woman narrative … which lands at the Lightbox in two volumes, each with its own ticket. It’s being embraced by those who found Melancholia too grim, which I guess makes sense. Personally, I thought Melancholia was terrific, and found this affected and dull … and Susan flat-out rejects it. Can’t really blame her.

Le Week-end: Jim Broadbent and Lindsay Duncan play a couple on the rocks in Roger Michell’s relationship study, which is being sold as the next The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel — but really, really isn’t.

… so, yeah, go see The Lunchbox. Oh, or you could go for a walk if it’s still warm out. Is it? I really hope it is.