Monkey News

Aha! The secret stash of Ape Smart Drink!Well, people sure do love their narratively garbled, politically incoherent sci-fi epics: “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” stayed at the top of the charts for a second week, grossing $27.5 million and keeping “The Help” in second place with $25.5 million. “Final Destination 5” took third with $18.4 million, “The Smurfs” took fourth with $13.5 million and “30 Minutes or Less” shrugged its way into fifth with $13 million.

Curiously, the 3D “Glee” concert movie failed to crack the top ten, coming in eleventh with a paltry $5.7 million. I suspect this is because the show’s rabid fans already shelled out for the concert tour on which it’s based, and therefore are waiting to buy the DVD. Or maybe there just aren’t that many rabid fans of “Glee” in the first place.

I think it’s time to talk hybrid sequels. I’d really love to see a “Smurfs” sequel that lifted the plot from either “Final Destination 5” or “30 Minutes or Less”. C’mon, who wouldn’t want to see Papa Smurf robbing a bank with a bomb strapped to his chest? Or Brainy trapped on a table with a malfunctioning LASIK device hovering over his face?

Come on, studios, get on it. I don’t even want money; an executive-producer credit would be fine.

2 thoughts on “Monkey News”

  1. I’m holding out for the smart ape/show choir crossover. If they don’t like how they do at regionals, they can rip the judges faces off.

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