In the last slow frame before the Christmas movies start rolling out in earnest, the horrific glamour of Breaking Dawn, Part 2 slackened just enough to let Skyfall and Rise of the Guardians slip past it to slug it out for the top spot at the box-office — and James Bond kicked the stuffing out of Santa Claus to reign supreme.
Okay, it wasn’t nearly that dramatic … the movies didn’t actually battle each other, and Skyfall squeaked past Rise of the Guardians with $11 million to the CG adventure’s $10.5 million, neither of which is a weekend to be especially proud of. I just thought I’d see if I could approximate the industry-insider voice of a Variety piece. It was something to do.
Anyway, it’s nice that Skyfall should be back on top this week, since things are in a 007 mood up in here. John Glen, the director of all five of the canon Bonds released in the 1980s, is in town to do a couple of appearances at the Lightbox tonight — specifically, an In Conversation With … session at 7 pm and an intro for Octopussy at 9 pm. I had the chance to chat with him last month for a NOW Q&A; you might want to read that. The guy’s got some stories.
If you want to mimic the voice of Variety, you need to start sentences with the word “Pic” and toss around a bunch of fake industry jargon like “laffer” and “skedded” that no one in the industry would ever actually use. You should insert the word “boffo” into every other sentence for the hell of it as well. The fact that your sentences and grammar are coherent automatically disqualifies you from writing for Variety.
Of John Glen’s five Bond movies, Octopussy is the second-to-last that I’d expect or want to see him introduce. Was there no good print of For Your Eyes Only available?