Bleah, Bleah, Bleah

Dracula UntoldOctober means endless openings — though once again The Guest was bumped from release at the last minute. Which is actually okay, since every delay brings it closer to Halloween, when the movie itself is set. I could think of worse release strategies.

In the meantime, here’s a list of what is arriving in theatres today. Some of them are even worth your time.

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day: The beloved children’s book becomes a movie! Because all is entropy and everything you love dies! Also, Steve Carell and Jennifer Garner make faces in it. Rad was unmoved.

Bjork: Biophilia LiveSusan is wowed by the Icelandic pixie’s latest concert movie. Co-director Peter Strickland made Berberian Sound Studio and The Duke of Burgundy, so I can see how that would happen.

Dracula Untold: No, Universal’s latest monster reboot isn’t very good, but at least it isn’t very good in a different way from the incoherent flailing of The Wolfman. I mean, I guess that’s a net positive.

God Help the Girl: Belle and Sebastian’s Stuart Murdoch makes a musical. It is a mess, but if you’re a fan you might enjoy some of it. God knows I tried to.

The Judge: Robert Downey Jr. and Robert Duvall are so frickin’ good in this movie — and Vincent D’Onofrio and Vera Farmiga are as well — that it almost doesn’t matter that the movie itself isn’t that great.

Kill the Messenger: Speaking of actors being good in movies that aren’t exactly punching at their level, Jeremy Renner does a fine job of playing California journalist Gary Webb in Michael Cuesta’s middling biopic. Also very good, in smaller roles: Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Michael Sheen.

Mudbloods: This is a documentary about the brave lads of the UCLA Quidditch team, which demonstrates that you really can make a documentary about anything. Rad ain’t buying it.

The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared: Susan doesn’t have a lot of time for Felix Herngren’s Swedish satire, and from the way she describes it I can’t say I would either.

And there we are. Enjoy your Turkey Day, everyone!

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