Where Does One Begin?

Somewhere, a child is cryingSorry for the delay in posting. (I told you this would happen.)

Anyway, ABC News is reporting that Steven Seagal has finally produced an explanation for the sorry state of his career: The FBI shanked it by implicating him in a 2002 investigation into the intimidation of two journalists who were, well, working on stories of Seagal’s general unpleasantness.

Me, I’m pretty sure Seagal’s career was torpedoed by his insistence on making movies like “Fire Down Below” and “The Glimmer Man”, and letting himself expand to the point where he couldn’t even move comfortably on-screen. I mean, in “Fire Down Below” the bad guys have to run straight at him so he can slap them down; surely one of them would eventually figure out that all he needs to do is step back a few feet, so Seagal can tire himself out trying to chase them.

I guess he takes out the smartest one first. Sure, that’s it.