So That Happened for the 85th Time

Well, there you go: Argo, Daniel Day-Lewis, Jennifer Lawrence, Tommy Lee Jones Christoph Waltz, Anne Hathaway, Steven Spielberg Ang Lee. This is why I never buy into the Oscar pool. (Here’s my wrapup for the NOW website.)

Still, it’s nice that Brave got a little love, and Adele’s acceptance speech for her Skyfall theme was great, and Dame Shirley Bassey — or rather: Damn, Shirley Bassey. Shame about Quentin Tarantino making the final transition to the dark side, though.

But remember, Identity Thief returned to the top spot at the box office, remind us that cinema as we know it is dead, and Hollywood exist almost solely to dance on its corpse.

This guy knows what I’m talking about, right?

9 thoughts on “So That Happened for the 85th Time”

  1. So the Onion’s horrible tweet regarding Quvanzhane Wallis… they were trying to call out Seth McFarlane for essentially making the same awful joke, right?

    Nobody seems to have made the connection yet. Maybe you couldn’t bring yourself to listen to that “Losers” number… and I couldn’t blame you… but it was in there.

    Do you agree??

    1. I do agree, and I got it right away. But the problem with the Onion’s tweet was the juxtaposition of Wallis and the c-word; it’s basically like throwing nitroglycerin in a roomful of ferrets to demonstrate why one shouldn’t throw nitroglycerin into a roomful of ferrets.

      You’re never going to get people to understand your intention when they’re screaming and bleeding all over each other. And that’s too complex a point to explain in 140 characters, so they were screwed within seconds of that tweet being posted.

      1. I agree, they mangled things so bad they just wound up making an even more horrible joke while letting Seth off the hook.

        My version:

        “Seth McFarlane goes for cheap laugh by ALMOST calling Quvenzhane Wallis a runt.”

        That would’ve worked better, I think.

  2. While I had plenty of issues with the broadcast and MacFarlane, he wasn’t nearly as awful as Billy Crystal last year.

    That sock puppet version of Flight was inspired, and MacFarlane got off a handful of decent zingers (among the bad ones). Not one single thing that Crystal said or did last year could even remotely be interpreted as funny or entertaining. They could have dug up the corpse of Bob Hope and left it rotting in the middle of the stage for four hours, and even that would have been a significant improvement over Crystal.

    1. I agree that Crystal was terrible — an irrelevant man desperately trying to remind us of past glories that weren’t really so glorious in the first place — but MacFarlane was a different kind of terrible.

      He’s embraced the “old-school entertainer” thing without fully understanding it; he wants to be Frank Sinatra or Dean Martin, but he’s just Don Rickles without the grace or the timing.

      MacFarlane’s whole persona is just smug entitlement spraying out at his audience … and the misogyny underneath most of his gags was exhausting.

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