Another week, another wall of cinema. Six-word reviews for everyone!

The Assassin: Gorgeous slow-burn wuxia from Hou.

Burnt: Remember Kitchen Confidential? Bradley Cooper does.

Fat: Mel Rodriguez: Great performance, wrong movie.

Heart of a Dog: Laurie Anderson explores life, loss. Lovely. 

The Keeping Room: Brit Marling good. This movie not. [Rad]

Nasty Baby: Sebastian Silva masturbates, wastes Kristen Wiig.

Our Brand is Crisis: Political satire without bite or perspective.

Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse: No wonder they didn’t press screen. 

Suffragette: Stirring history, bland movie. Good performances. [Susan]

Truth: Mary Mapes’ Bush-memo story underwhelms. [Rad]

Victoria: One continuous shot does not thrill.

See? Now I can get back to work.