Three new holiday releases open today, but there’s precious little joy to be found in any of them. Shall we?
Assassin’s Creed: The Macbeth team of Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard and director Justin Kurzel reunite for a grim, dull slog through the imagery of the popular videogame series. In related news, Warcraft is no longer the front-runner for this year’s “worst gaming movie” award.
Passengers: Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence star in what director Morten Tyldum clearly thinks is a deep-space romance. In related news, The Birth of a Nation has some competition for this year’s “most subtextually unsettling film” award.
Sing: Garth Jennings — whose Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and Son of Rambow are movies I really, really like — stumbles with this overstuffed, overcomplicated all-star CG musical in which funny animals enter an American Idol-style singing competition. In related news, Seth MacFarlane is still way out in front for this year’s “you can keep singing if you promise to stop acting” award.
Oh, and also I made a few contributions to NOW’s Worst Films of 2016 rundown. Sadly, we went to press before Assassin’s Creed and Passengers were screened.