Monsters! Aliens! Empowerment! (Wait, What?)

Oh lord, he's forgotten his pants againThe days just fly by, don’t they? One minute I’m making my way through a huge pile of Cinefranco screeners; the next, I’m staring down the complete schedule of the Tibet film festival. Gosh, it’s good to be well-rounded.

But it’s Friday now! Movies are opening! Let’s get to the breakdown!

“Before Tomorrow”: The producers of “Atanarjuat” and “The Journals of Knud Rasmussen” bring you another slice of Inuit life — this one a far more amateurish and obvious construction that seems far more concerned about playing to mainstream tastes than its predecessors. Susan and Jason do not share my assessment, however.

“Hank and Mike”: A pair of cranky and obnoxious Easter bunnies get laid off and look for new work while still wearing their bunny suits. Doesn’t sound like much, but people still love “Bad Santa”, so what do I know? Andrew kinda liked it; Kieran, not as enthused.

“Hansel & Gretel”: A Korean revision of the grim fairy tale; in this telling, it’s an adult who gets taken in by creepy kids. Andrew offers a cautious endorsement.

“The Haunting in Connecticut”: Lamest title in a while. Lamest poster, too. (Attention marketing departments: Ectoplasmic vomit should probably be kept out of your campaign. Let it be a surprise.) Jason and Andrew call bullshit on the whole affair.

Monsters vs. Aliens“: Some engaging characters and truly magnificent production design very nearly carry DreamWorks’ 3D CG spectacle over the yawning potholes of its confused second half. My review should be online any minute now. UPDATE: There it is!

Sunshine Cleaning“: In which mismatched sisters Amy Adams and Emily Blunt learn to understand one another when they start cleaning up crime scenes. Sundance-certified edge has never seemed so … dull. And someone really has to tell Alan Arkin to stop playing all those wacky grandpas. He’ll burn himself out, and then what’s left? Musicals?

“Twelve Rounds”: Fox didn’t screen Renny Harlin’s latest movie for us, so all I know at this time is that it stars wrestler-actor John Cena and is, according to the TV spots, very frenetic with the running and the yelling and the blowing up of things. So, a Renny Harlin movie, then.

Lots of stuff to do and watch this weekend, so posting may be sporadic. But I’m around, I swear.