Meanwhile, Back in This Galaxy …

Obviously, that space movie is going to dominate all movie conversation this weekend, and probably through February. And I think maybe it should; something this anticipated turning out to justify all of the expectation is kind of wonderful. Give J.J. Abrams the moon or something.

But there are other movies opening this week as counterprogramming. Again, can’t blame ’em for trying, but they will be crushed by the power of this fully operational franchise. Shall we run through them?

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip: Look, just tell us what we need to sacrifice to get Fox to stop making these movies, and we will do it. Hell, it sounds like Rad is ready to do it himself.

Extraction: Bruce Willis gets kidnapped, forcing his son to leap into action to save him. Didn’t someone already make this movie with Henry Cavill instead of Kellan Lutz? Glenn hated it.

He Never Died: Henry Rollins is a Highlander or something in Jason Krawczyk’s low-budget effort, which Jose finds wanting.

The Lady in the Car with Glasses and a Gun: Joann Sfar’s sultry thriller features a compelling lead turn from Freya Mavor (a Scots actress playing a very convincing Parisian) and an atmosphere you can sink right into. Just don’t worry so much about the plotting.

Noma: My Perfect Storm: The year’s latest foodie documentary visits the legendary Copenhagen restaurant to sit at the feet of chef Rene Redzepi. Rad found himself getting a little impatient.

Sisters: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s first big-screen venture since Baby Mama is … um … well, it’s kind of a mess, actually. 

… yeah, you’ll probably just go see The Force Awakens again on Sunday, won’t you? And that’s okay. It’s been a long time coming.

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