“She won’t let us go, boys.”
Fifty Shades of Black: If you think about it, Marlon Wayans was already dabbling in erotica with his Haunted House movies, which inevitably wound up with his character doing freaky butt stuff with ghosts in the second act. This can’t be any worse than those, right? UPDATE: Rad says it’s about the same, but provides some interesting cultural context.
The Finest Hours: This tale of Coast Guard heroism in 1952 has some really nice things in it — not the least of which is Chris Pine’s blunt take on its fairly simple lead — but Craig Gillespie’s monotonous execution of each elaborate CG set piece grows wearying.
JeruZalem: Sibling filmmakers Doron and Yoav Paz transplant the Cloverfield aesthetic to the Holy Land for a disappointingly front-loaded thriller about American tourists stumbling through a proper Biblical apocalypse.
Kung Fu Panda 3: Martial-arts doofus Po returns for another adventure, this time reuniting with his long-lost father (Bryan Cranston) … but Rad finds it all a little familiar.
Lazer Team: Aliens threaten the Earth and four idiots are our only hope in the first theatrical feature from the weirdoes who make Red vs. Blue. I kinda liked it.
Magicarena: Andrea Prandstraller and Niccolò Bruna’s documentary captures a radical restaging of Aida in Verona by a Spanish theatrical troupe. Glenn is totally into it.
See you in February. Hold fast, we’re almost there.