I’m Not Picking Up

Insert obligatory agent joke hereCan you believe it’s been nine years since “Ringu”? Nine years since the Asian horror cinema surged forth with twitchy ghosts, long-haired vengeance demons and those spooky gray ghoul things in the corners of the frame? And, say, eight years since American filmmakers started using the same imagery in their own horror movies?

Obviously, the (re)makers of “One Missed Call” would prefer you didn’t think about that. But it’s kind of hard not to when a movie is this dull, this predictable and this derivative.

Not that the Takashi Miike original was any great shakes — and to Eric Valette’s credit, he shaves a good half-hour off Miike’s running time — but still. This one’s unnecessary from beginning to end.

Oh, and we’re not done with this subgenre yet; a remake of “The Eye” opens February 1st. Starring Jessica Alba.

Yeah, it’s a golden age for cinema.

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