Another dozen openings in Toronto this week, along with the various microfestivals and retrospectives. It’s like the movies want to kill me. Commence the six-word-review game!

Chameleon: In which we meet the amazing Anas.

A Christmas Horror Story: Stories plural, actually. Some even good! [Andy]

Jem and the Holograms: Your favorite ’80s property, but not. [Rad]

The Last Witch Hunter: The world needed Cage, got Diesel.

The Mask: Nostalgia ain’t what it was, folks.

My Internship in Canada: Post-election, political comedy still valid.

Northern Soul: Manchester moshers,  twenty years too soon.

Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension: We can see the demon? Swell. 

Remember: Atom Egoyan Presents: Memento with Nazis.

Rock the Kasbah: Well, Bill Murray got some sun.

Room: Movie’s good. Brie Larson is great.

Tab Hunter Confidential: Closeted matinee idol finally comes clean. [Glenn]

Phew. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to record a podcast with the director of one of the movies on this very page! How’s that for suspense?