The weekend box-office results are in, and “The Last Exorcism” has claimed the top spot — barely. The virally marketed creeper earned just $300,000 more than its closest competition, the anonymous actioner “Takers”. The former made $21.3 million; the latter, $21 million. (Sylvester Stallone’s “The Expendables” dropped to third place with $9.5 million.)

Imagine what a savvy producer could do with a movie about fashionably dressed hoods who try to rob the Vatican, only to accidentally unleash all the demons stored in its vault. That’s a $42.3 million opening weekend, guaranteed!

… aw, crap. Someone’s going to make that now.