No, I have not yet seen “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra”. But it’s not because I don’t want to; Stephen Sommers delivered two of my very favorite goofball genre movies, “Deep Rising” and “The Mummy”, and I’m really hoping he can recapture the mojo that eluded him in the last reel of “The Mummy Returns” (and, um, the entirety of “Van Helsing”) this time around.

My good will ain’t good enough for Paramount, which has declined to screen the film for critics … because, they claim, it’s just too much fun, and we won’t appreciate it.

Funny how that didn’t stop them from screening “Iron Man” or “Star Trek”, and then actively soliciting blurbs for those movies. Maybe this is a different kind of fun, like Michael Bay fun — a fun best kept to those under the age of fifteen, like doing Whippets and stealing your dad’s Jeep for a joyride.

I truly hope not. The world needs a live-action “Team America”, and Stephen Sommers is just the guy to make it …