At noon today Donald Trump will have been the President of the United States for one full week. Just let that sink in.
Now think about something else. Anything else. Hey, there’s a buncha movies opening today!
A Dog’s Purpose: Does Lasse Hallstrom’s latest form an unofficial trilogy with My Life As a Dog and Hachi: A Dog’s Tale? Well, I don’t know; I was washing my hair that night, so Rad went.
Gold: Matthew McConaughey tries very, very hard to bring some life to Stephen Gaghan’s hollow tale of venture capitalism in the go-go ’80s, which is so liberally adapted from the events of the Bre-X scandal that it takes place a decade beforehand, and in a different country.
The Love Witch: Anna Biller follows her bespoke-retro Viva with another exhaustively handmade feature designed in the style of 1960s Technicolor productions. I dunno. People like what they like.
The Red Turtle: Studio Ghibli and Dutch animator Michael Dudok de Wit team up for an exquisite animated feature that will almost certainly not win an Oscar. But that’s not why they made it, so who cares?
Resident Evil: The Final Chapter: Milla Jovovich andPaul W.S. Anderson have been fighting zombies for fifteen goddamn years. Now they’re finished … or are they? UPDATE: Well, actually …
The River of My Dreams: A Portrait of Gordon Pinsent: Brigitte Berman lets the Canadian icon spin stories , recite Shakespeare and profess his love of family and country. Which is fine, until the digital flourishes start.
Toni Erdmann: Maren Ade’s festival-circuit knockout is a singular accomplishment, but explaining it would spoil its pleasures. So just block off three hours and go. And see it with a crowd.
Trespass Against Us: Michael Fassbender and Brendan Gleeson are terrific in this otherwise undistinguished petty-crime drama from UK director Adam Smith, which was a big deal at TIFF right up until people saw it.
When the Universe Sings: The Spiritual Journey of Lawren Harris: Nancy Lang and Peter Raymont consider the life and work of the acclaimed Group of Seven painter in a doc Susan finds decent enough.
That’s everything. Bring on the zombie hordes.