I’ve spent most of the last 24 hours struggling with a laptop issue, taking time out only for one horrible movie and one very nice lunch. You take what you can get.
Anyway, while I battle the vile beast men call the Operating System Upgrade, here’s my latest Sympatico/MSN DVD column, featuring “Knocked Up”, which — like “The 40 Year Old Virgin” — has somehow grown sweeter and warmer between its theatrical bow and its arrival on DVD.
Awww.
It’s International Talk Like a Pirate Day, and I be spendin’ it high above the blue yonder … in the vast wide … okay, I’m flying to Vancouver to visit the set of “Lost Boys 2”.
Anyway, here’s my latest Sympatico/MSN DVD column to warm your scurvy hearts, and I’ll check in with you at the next rising o’ the sun.
You know how I’ve been waiting for the arrival of a combo HD DVD/Blu-ray player to put an end to this never-ending format war?
(Yes, I know there’s one out there now, but I’m talking about a unit that’s actually capable of exploiting both formats to their fullest; LG’s current model can’t access the interactive features on HD DVD discs, can’t process the higher-end audio options and can’t output 1080p at 24fps, so it’s hardly the solution it claims to be.)
I’ve had my eye on Samsung’s BD-UP5000 for a while now. And, as HD Guru reports after spending some alone time with it last week, it’s looking pretty appealing: It only takes 35 seconds to boot up, and it can spin up a disc in less than 20 seconds! Awesome!
The price point is a bit disappointing — Samsung’s asking $1000 list, whereas their current BD-only player is going for around $500. You’d think they’d introduce the combo player at a more competitive price point, thus guaranteeing it huge sales right off the bat, and securing its place in song and legend as The Player That Ended The War.
Maybe that’s their Christmas strategy.
So the MPAA has brought the heroic DVD-sniffing dogs, Lucky and Flo, to stalk evil bootleggers in Manhattan, and the New York Times was there to take some pictures and basically reprint the press release.
The key quote, however, comes all the way at the bottom of the piece:
“They can’t distinguish between pirated and nonpirated DVDs,” said Mr. Glickman, who owns a 3 1/2-year-old beagle named Sammy. “I’d love if we could do that, but we’re not there yet.”
Oh, come on. Come. On.
Look, I understand that the appearance of vigilance is far more important than actual vigilance; it’s like the TSA’s ridiculous liquid restrictions, which make getting on a plane just as hard for a normal person as it does for a Dirty Scheming Terrorist, despite the likelihood that said Dirty Scheming Terrorists have long since abandoned their plans for gel-bombings and moved on to some other fiendish and equally imaginary plot.
(Aside: I honestly believe that by this time next year, any Democrat or Republican who made disbanding the TSA a fundamental part of his or her campaign platform would win the White House in a walk.)
But this is what it boils down to: We want you to believe that these dogs are able to sniff out the counterfeit DVDs that we claim are killing the industry, and we’ll show you a lot of impounded product that seems to support that claim, but as far as the reality of it?
“We’re not there yet.”
So where the hell are we, besides the theater of the absurd?
Well, at least the dogs got a walk out of it. I hope one of them remembered to piddle on the Fox van.
The redesign of Sympatico/MSN’s Movies section has resulted in some redirected URLs within the site; as a result, this blog’s “Here I Am!” link to my DVD page is sending some visitors off into cyberspace, never to be heard from again. Don’t click it. It’s dangerous.
Instead, play it safe and find this week’s DVD column here. The focus is on the majesty of rock, as represented by both “Air Guitar Nation” and “Blades of Glory”.
I think I make my case.
Oh, and “Balls of Fury“? Reasonably funny.
It’s thick and overcast in Toronto, with a thunderstorm rumbling in the distance. Perfect weather for movies based on works by Ian McEwan and Cormac McCarthy, I should think.
In the meantime, here’s Dave Kehr’s latest New York Times DVD column, discussing three newly arrived films directed by Luis Bunuel. It’s a good read.
Whoops! With all the TIFFery, I nearly forgot to post a link to my latest Sympatico/MSN DVD column, which focuses on “The Lives of Others” and (to a considerably lesser degree) “After the Wedding”).
In other disc news, the New York Times is reporting that Paramount’s HD DVD exclusivity has an 18-month term limit … and, by the way, the studio will receive “about $150 million in financial incentives” for throwing its support behind the red team.
Oh, and the Digital Bits is reporting that yesterday’s announcement came as something of a surprise to Paramount’s own people, as well as to certain film directors who are, er, kind of ticked at the discovery that their movies won’t be available on their own format of choice.
Whoops. Although, by definition, anything that puts the kibosh on Michael Bay’s “Transformers 2” has its upside.
The high-def format war is at DEFCON 2* today, after back-to-back announcements designed to push the opposing camps further up against the metaphorical wall.
First, Paramount announced that it was discontinuing its support for Blu-ray, and would forthwith be releasing its titles exclusively on HD DVD … starting with next week’s release of “Blades of Glory”, apparently, even though there must be thousands of BD versions of that title ready to ship.
No sooner had the industry processed that story — wasn’t the next big twist in the format war supposed to be Universal’s embrace of Blu-ray? — than Fox jumped in with its long-promised list of Fox and MGM Blu-ray releases, scheduled to start appearing in stores in September, right alongside those third-generation players with their enhanced content protection and BD-Java capability.
And Sony just sent out a broadcast release, reminding us journalists that they still support Blu-ray a whole bunch — and that I should note, by the way, that “this announcement comes at a time when Blu-ray is continuing to lead the format war, outselling HD DVD two to one.”
Yes. Yes, it is. But Paramount is releasing DreamWorks’ “Shrek the Third” next month. Exclusively on HD DVD.
I wasn’t a fan of the film, but I imagine people walking into their local Best Future Circuit Shop and goggling at the picture quality of a high-definition “Shrek” movie … and then noticing how cheap the HD DVD players are compared to the Blu-ray units … and then noticing how their children have got all quiet, watching the ogre movie …
Well played, Toshiba. Well played.
(* … yeah, I know “WarGames” used DEFCON 5 as the top end of the scale. “WarGames” was wrong.)
The week’s DVD column is up at Sympatico/MSN, taking a look at three somewhat unusual thrillers — “The Lookout”, “Fracture” and “Vacancy” — which all happen to be arriving on disc today.
(Too bad “Disturbia” came out last week; it would have folded in nicely.)
I’m attending my second TIFF press screening this morning, embarking on the annual month of movie hell a little earlier than usual; the screenings usually don’t start until the week of August 20th, but this year they began yesterday. (And without breaking any review embargos, I’ll just say they began very, very badly.)
Which means I will be a gibbering wreck by, oh, the third day of the festival proper, rather than the ninth.
Hey, forewarned is forearmed.
My latest Sympatico/MSN DVD column is up, detailing the many, many ways in which Hollywood continues to exploit its long affair with Elvis.
You know, I still really like “Jailhouse Rock”.
In other entertainment news, Michael Bay continues to be a giant douche, but Brett Ratner and Chris Tucker easily top Bay’s oblivious egotism in this remarkable interview with The Onion AV Club.
And I have to see “Daddy Day Camp” at 12:05.
My soul hurts.