Oh, look, a week of relative quiet. Just a handful of titles, none of them especially distinguished.  … so really, you should go catch up to “Stories We Tell”. Anyway, here’s what’s opening.

“Alex Cross“: Tyler Perry makes his bid for Proper Actor status and his own action franchise. It, um, does not go well.

“Diana Vreeland: The Eye Has to Travel”: The life of the legendary Vogue editor-in-chief is recounted (and re-enacted) in a new documentary. Kiva is unimpressed.

“The Paperboy”: Lee Daniels follows the alleged triumph of “Precious” with another kitchen-sink fever dream. Susan likes the performances more than the story; I’ll see it for McConaughey.

“Paranormal Activity 4“: Yup, another one. And it’s everything that was wrong with the last one, plus MacBooks.

“Tai Chi Zero“: The first half of Stephen Fung’s crazy-ass kung-fu opus is non-stop conflict and CG steampunk death trains. (Well, one CG steampunk death train, anyway.) It was enjoyable, but I fear the second half may kill me.

Oh, and if you’re in the west end Saturday afternoon, come out to the Revue and see me introduce “E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial” at 2 pm! It’s part of the theatre’s centenary celebration, and I’m delighted to help out. Wouldn’t you like to be there too?