I wrote a couple of longish pieces about “Grindhouse” when it opened theatrically back in April, but thanks to the magic of home video, I can revisit it all over again in this week’s Sympatico/MSN DVD column.
Bottom line: “Death Proof” may be one long indulgence, but “Planet Terror” still gets it right, even if the extended version kills the best jump cut in the original version.
Oddly enough, the same thing happened when Terry Gilliam assembled his definitive cut of “Brazil” …
It’s been up since Tuesday, but in case you haven’t read it yet, my latest Sympatico/MSN DVD column deals with this summer’s unnecessary sequels — specifically, “28 Weeks Later” and “Evan Almighty”.
I mean, I don’t really have anything against “28 Weeks Later”; it’s well-made and intermittently effective. But it doesn’t do anything that “28 Days Later” didn’t do, and it doesn’t develop the story or the concept any further; it just exists because the first one made money, and studios never turn down a hot property.
“Evan Almighty”, though … that one’s just awful. I suspect it might have worked a little better if they’d convinced Jim Carrey to come back, since the script was so obviously written for him … but then again, a movie this terrible can’t always be saved by any one person.
Oh, and speaking of catching up to stuff: You know those new Blu-ray titles from Fox? The ones with the super-sophisticated DRM and nifty new BD-Java interactivity?
… yeah, here’s the thing. It turns out they’re so cutting-edge that none of the existing players can handle them without a major firmware update.
Swell.
The computer issues are on the verge of being fixed — and while I’m thinking of it, full blessings and marvelousness to Mozbackup, the invaluable Firefox bookmark and password rememberer — so it looks like I’m back online and back in the saddle.
(That said, there are still a number of finer technical points yet to be addressed, so if I should happen to fall off the grid for a day or two, don’t panic. I’m with you in spirit.)
Anyway, now that I have time to blog again, I can direct you to my latest Sympatico/MSN DVD column, which highlights the haunted-hotel movie “1408” … a film that’s considerably improved in the director’s cut, as it turns out.
I’ve spent most of the last 24 hours struggling with a laptop issue, taking time out only for one horrible movie and one very nice lunch. You take what you can get.
Anyway, while I battle the vile beast men call the Operating System Upgrade, here’s my latest Sympatico/MSN DVD column, featuring “Knocked Up”, which — like “The 40 Year Old Virgin” — has somehow grown sweeter and warmer between its theatrical bow and its arrival on DVD.
Awww.
It’s International Talk Like a Pirate Day, and I be spendin’ it high above the blue yonder … in the vast wide … okay, I’m flying to Vancouver to visit the set of “Lost Boys 2”.
Anyway, here’s my latest Sympatico/MSN DVD column to warm your scurvy hearts, and I’ll check in with you at the next rising o’ the sun.
You know how I’ve been waiting for the arrival of a combo HD DVD/Blu-ray player to put an end to this never-ending format war?
(Yes, I know there’s one out there now, but I’m talking about a unit that’s actually capable of exploiting both formats to their fullest; LG’s current model can’t access the interactive features on HD DVD discs, can’t process the higher-end audio options and can’t output 1080p at 24fps, so it’s hardly the solution it claims to be.)
I’ve had my eye on Samsung’s BD-UP5000 for a while now. And, as HD Guru reports after spending some alone time with it last week, it’s looking pretty appealing: It only takes 35 seconds to boot up, and it can spin up a disc in less than 20 seconds! Awesome!
The price point is a bit disappointing — Samsung’s asking $1000 list, whereas their current BD-only player is going for around $500. You’d think they’d introduce the combo player at a more competitive price point, thus guaranteeing it huge sales right off the bat, and securing its place in song and legend as The Player That Ended The War.
Maybe that’s their Christmas strategy.
So the MPAA has brought the heroic DVD-sniffing dogs, Lucky and Flo, to stalk evil bootleggers in Manhattan, and the New York Times was there to take some pictures and basically reprint the press release.
The key quote, however, comes all the way at the bottom of the piece:
“They can’t distinguish between pirated and nonpirated DVDs,” said Mr. Glickman, who owns a 3 1/2-year-old beagle named Sammy. “I’d love if we could do that, but we’re not there yet.”
Oh, come on. Come. On.
Look, I understand that the appearance of vigilance is far more important than actual vigilance; it’s like the TSA’s ridiculous liquid restrictions, which make getting on a plane just as hard for a normal person as it does for a Dirty Scheming Terrorist, despite the likelihood that said Dirty Scheming Terrorists have long since abandoned their plans for gel-bombings and moved on to some other fiendish and equally imaginary plot.
(Aside: I honestly believe that by this time next year, any Democrat or Republican who made disbanding the TSA a fundamental part of his or her campaign platform would win the White House in a walk.)
But this is what it boils down to: We want you to believe that these dogs are able to sniff out the counterfeit DVDs that we claim are killing the industry, and we’ll show you a lot of impounded product that seems to support that claim, but as far as the reality of it?
“We’re not there yet.”
So where the hell are we, besides the theater of the absurd?
Well, at least the dogs got a walk out of it. I hope one of them remembered to piddle on the Fox van.
The redesign of Sympatico/MSN’s Movies section has resulted in some redirected URLs within the site; as a result, this blog’s “Here I Am!” link to my DVD page is sending some visitors off into cyberspace, never to be heard from again. Don’t click it. It’s dangerous.
Instead, play it safe and find this week’s DVD column here. The focus is on the majesty of rock, as represented by both “Air Guitar Nation” and “Blades of Glory”.
I think I make my case.
Oh, and “Balls of Fury“? Reasonably funny.
It’s thick and overcast in Toronto, with a thunderstorm rumbling in the distance. Perfect weather for movies based on works by Ian McEwan and Cormac McCarthy, I should think.
In the meantime, here’s Dave Kehr’s latest New York Times DVD column, discussing three newly arrived films directed by Luis Bunuel. It’s a good read.
Whoops! With all the TIFFery, I nearly forgot to post a link to my latest Sympatico/MSN DVD column, which focuses on “The Lives of Others” and (to a considerably lesser degree) “After the Wedding”).
In other disc news, the New York Times is reporting that Paramount’s HD DVD exclusivity has an 18-month term limit … and, by the way, the studio will receive “about $150 million in financial incentives” for throwing its support behind the red team.
Oh, and the Digital Bits is reporting that yesterday’s announcement came as something of a surprise to Paramount’s own people, as well as to certain film directors who are, er, kind of ticked at the discovery that their movies won’t be available on their own format of choice.
Whoops. Although, by definition, anything that puts the kibosh on Michael Bay’s “Transformers 2” has its upside.